'Allo 'Allo!

by Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft

Background

In Secret Army, Bernard Hepton starred as Albert, a café owner involved in the Resistance. In 'Allo 'Allo! Gorden Kaye plays René Artois, a remarkably similar, if somewhat less motivated, café owner, who becomes unwittingly involved with the Resistance when they use his café in the town of Nouvion as a centre from which to hatch plans to smuggle two British airmen back to ‘Blighty’.

This adds complications to René's already convoluted life: he is married to Edith who ‘entertains’ in the café by singing (badly)... something he must work twice as hard to compensate for if he is to have any custom at all. Yet, despite his wife, and all outward appearances to the contrary, he must also deal with being irresistibly attractive to many of those around him: be it his own waitresses Yvette, Maria and Mimi, or Lieutenant Gruber, the camp aide-de-camp to Herr Flick. Flick, a Gestapo officer, has been sent to the town by the German high command to commandeer the most precious works of art for the Fuhrer.

However, Flick secretly plans to ‘misplace’ one particularly prized work of art - the famous painting of the "Fallen Madonna (With The Big Boobies)" by Van Clomp – and use it to set up life after the war with his aid, Helga. Unfortunately, he is not alone in spotting this opportunity: the town Commandant, Colonel Von Strohm, and his assistants, Captains Geering and Bertorelli, are also seeking to line their pockets with as much confiscated booty as possible.

Amongst the items 'Allo 'Allo! they’ve already squirreled away is, indeed, the famous painting of the "Fallen Madonna (With The Big Boobies)" by Van Clomp. Upon hearing of the imminent arrival of the Gestapo, the Colonel and the Captain had seconded René and his café to hide the treasure (figuring that should it actually be found there, no blame would fall on them).

Meanwhile, René is struggling to continue earning a living during difficult times. He can’t deny that the Germans occupying the town have money to spend and goods to barter, and he is happy to take whatever he can. Nevertheless, the patronage of the Germans causes him further problems as Resistance agent Michelle Dubois embroils him in her (often ludicrous) secret plans…

Performance Details

'Allo 'Allo! was performed at the Compass Theatre in Ickenham from Wednesday 8th to Saturday 11th of June 2005. Shows were at 8pm (Saturday Matinee at 2:30pm).