Carpe Jugulum

by Terry Pratchett

Synopsis

Invite a vampire into your home and you're asking for trouble! Invite an entire vampire clan to your baby's christening and you'd better serve garlic as the entree!

Something stranger than normal is afoot in Lancre, deep in the heart of The Discworld. There's a new heir to the throne and guests have gathered from far and wide to attend the christening. However some bright spark invited the De Magpyrs - a family of new age vampires with a taste for garlic and fancy waistcoats, set on a feeding frenzy with baby Esmeralda for dessert!

With a witch for a mother and Nanny Ogg on your side, the odds should be in your favour. But when garlic and holy water don't work, who ya gonna call? Cue Granny Weatherwax (crone of all crones and witch extra-ordinaire). Only Granny has disappeared, sending the witches' coven into disarray.

Perdita X Nitt (the newest addition to the coven) is attracting a little too much attention from Vladymyr De Magpyr. Magrat, Queen of Lancre and yet another witch, is finding it a little tricky juggling motherhood and witchcraft. And Nanny - well she's just Nanny! All this spells trouble for Lancre… BIG trouble!

Will Perdita feel the passionate nip of a vampire kiss? Is this the end of Granny Weatherwax? And why can't vampires just stick to the rules?

It's all out war as the witches take on the vampires in The Purple Theatre Company's fourth foray into the Discworld!

Performance Details

Carpe Jugulum was performed at the Compass Theatre in Ickenham from Wednesday 6th to Saturday 9th December 2000.

Reviews

Ickenham Online

Brave

The Purple Theatre Company was certainly brave to take on this lengthy and quite complicated comedy by best-selling author Terry Pratchett - using a cast of 22 actors, no less.

It is possibly an advantage to see this production pre-armed with a knowledge of Discworld - the place where Pratchett sets his books - because from the word go we are bombarded with a mini-encyclopaedia of information. Fortunately, as the play develops, and the audience starts to feel at home in Discworld, things settle down and the main plot makes itself clear.

Vampires and witches

Carpe Jugulum is basically a re-run of the age old story of, not so much good versus evil as not-so-evil versus evil. Or, put another way, Witches versus Vampyres (the 'y', you will discover, is important).

Nice touch

There are plenty of gags along the way, and a nice touch is that the Purple people seem to have inserted a few of their own - look out for an early reference to Slough, some Monty Python quotes and a poster of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (at least, I assume these are not in the original script).

It's a clever play, in a nerdy sci-fi sort of way, so that as well as the classic slapstick there is some imaginative manipulation of well-known ideas and stereotypes. For example, there are vampires who won't die biting a 'garlic sandwich', and witches who were more than likely the ones doing the burning. There is also a side order of religious food for thought, as the author attempts an analysis of the true nature of Christianity - or, in this case, Om-nianity (possibly misspelt).

Impressive

Many of the cast can be commended for impressive performances - too many to single out here - but special mention should go to Craig Cameron Fisher for his superb portrayal of the oddly-named monk, Mightily Oats: a classic nerd right down to his wrinkly brown socks. Craig as the monk treated us to some of the play's best lines, such as 'Righty dokey' instead of 'Oakey dokey'. Well, it made me laugh.

Also stand-out were Susan Jones, Chris Constantinou and the impressively-trousered Miranda Kirschel who, between them, played a total of two witches (you'll have to see the play to do the maths). Sam Taylor in the role of Igor was amusing, and Justin Otto was effective in the play's 'serious' role of Granny Weatherwax.

Criticism

One criticism is that the diction could have been a lot clearer at times: complicated names and some strong accents meant that dialogue was occasionally lost. Also, the play is very long at three hours, making it possibly unsuitably for younger theatre-goers. Also, it meant the Chinese take-away was shut by the time the play was over - so that the reviewer had to have toast for supper instead of chicken fried rice. Would it be sacrilege to Pratchett fans to suggest that a good hour could be hacked off this production? Sorry.

A final word must go to Death - a brilliant character who, I seem to recall, was also very amusing in Mort, the only other Pratchett play I have seen. Listen out for his lines, which are few but worth waiting for.

Well done, Purple!